just one of those days

bah.

thats how I feel today. Kind of a someone just shoot me before anything else can happen type of feeling.

it's friday which for most people means yippee the weekend but for me means I've been working for 5 days getting up very early each of these days after little and poor sleep. it means I just feel done. And on top of that I still work saturdays.

My one day off a week is Sunday on which I get up early to go to church....its usually very tempting to just stay in bed. So all in all I'm just tired also every morning about 4 am when erk wakes up and starts yelling Im very tempted to yell at him to shut up. Ive yet to do this which I feel is a sort of small accomplishment.

note to people who coddle your children: stop--they are probably freaking annoying.

oh so I decided to take a year off of school and go move to Germany; most people have told me this was a brave decision yada yada yada. Heres the thing: it wasnt.

not in the slightest.

see most of the reason I took off was I was scared life was moving too fast and I had no idea of where I was going tired of running with no visible means of stopping or in what direction I was going. So I did something I'm good at I ran into a tree so I would stop. Thinking I could take a pause from my life and start running again in a year. Things don't exactly work like this because everyone else keeps running--maybe even running past you. and life keeps moving forward. and I still have no idea what Im doing. some days I like that today though...today it sucks

I mean I love being here its amazing but sometimes I wish I had stayed even though I know it was a good decision to come here because I was either going to have to take a break from school or go into debt there. at least this way I got to travel. but today Ill be honest I miss home I miss being a student I miss my friends and I'm tired of everyone running past me.

but what I love is that a 2 minute conversation with a girlfriend can make it all seem slightly less tragic who says frivolity doesnt have it's advantages?