Nanny diary: entry 6

This is Erk he'll be 3 on the 21st of Feburary

This is laura she was 3 months last week

Ok so Erk totally had a first girlfriend type of moment today, but let me give more background first. So today I was going to go out and have a Sunday type walk but at the time I wanted to go the family was going out as well and Erk asked me to come along. Estatic that the soon to be 3 year old asked me komm mit instead of du darfst nicht(youre not allowed) or geh weg(go away) I said yeah I can come. So I did to a cafe to meet their friends but hey I got cake--always good. But at the cafe there was a little girl maybe half a year younger than Erk and she said hi earlier and then later came back to say hi again. Turns out she was just using him for his wheels (a push bike) and after much convincing from Gerd(the dad) and I he let her play with it. And she did for like 10 minutes it was cute. But then Erk wanted to ride around in the cafe...obviously I couldn't let him and he hit me--but the only time in like the past 3 days. I really think we have progress. His 10 day check up went good his kidneys seem to be working with the medicine but hopefully he can get off of it.

HAPPY GROUNDHOGS DAY..tomorrow the best fake holiday this month!!!

Random Facts:

-I crave things like a pregnant woman today its--chocolate, crappy cereal, s'mores,

-I'm pretty vain

-I like the smell of smoke like camp fires

-room of grandmas + baby=priceless

-never underestimate the good nice weather can do

Quote:(I've decided if you can correctly place the quote you get points...later they'll mean something)

We can be proud. But pride...pride is cold company and thats no gainsaying.

If you don't like whining

. I'm not sure why you come to this blog anyways.

Have you noticed when you don't feel good you don't actually want to do anything that would make you feel better?

Things like exercising talking getting out.

Ok so I didn't know I was going to be in Istanbul for a month until I got to Germany...so lets check I moved to Germany which probably means I want to see things in Germany. Not travel around Istanbul. Its a beautiful city and an interesting mix of east and west, but I have no desire to see Istanbul. I especially have no desire to spend money on seeing things in the city.

I would like to use that money to go see friends go other places in Germany...or western Europe. Not go around a city I don't care about. And generally going out and doing stuff in a place where you know no one and don't even speak the language means spending money and lots of it to do touristy stuff. I don't usually like being touristy.

So if you know me you'll think this isn't true--but if you only know me a little you will be able to see this. I have a pathological need to be extremely polite. Which means if I don't know you there is a large possibility you have no idea what I'm thinking. I'll never be bored, never be hungry, never refuse anything offered to me(unless its something I don't have because of religious reasons) thats the whole reason I couldn't stick with the vegetarian thing--I hate to inconvenience people

Another thing. I don't eat that much. I just don't. I actually worked very hard to shrink the size of my stomach so I wouldn't eat that much. I'm not unhealthy I'm not starving I'm skinny. And thats the way (uh-huh uh-huh) I like it. SO I would appreciate it if you didn't put more food on my plate. If you didn't insist I try some of everything. The reason I didn't take any is because I don't want any. I like being obnoxiously skinny. I like being a size 2. But if you do things like not exercise and eat a lot of chocolate because you're unhappy, its possible you will stop being a size 2.

Being the extremely self-critical person I am it's not something I'm ready to accept. Just like I'll probably never think I'm pretty, and I'll never like to have people just listen to me sing...and I mean really sing. I'm never afraid to be who I am. I don't believe in guilty pleasures because I never want to feel guilty about being myself so I don't hide much, if people like me for who I am at first they will like me for it later. Pretending is too hard. Yeah I may get louder as you get to know me but I'm the same dork you met.

People keep saying I'm really brave going off on my own like this, that I'm taking on adventure. And yeah I'll be honest I am trying to find where I belong where I'll really be happy where I fit in. But mostly I feel like a coward I'm running away and I don't even know what from.

word to the wise:If you run away; think about what you have to leave behind first.

Still glad I came, still know I'm supposed to be here. Too bad I was forced to come to Istanbul if I was here on vacation with a friend I could really like it. The city is fun and I get to walk by the water everyday. but I don't like being alone. Shopping walking thinking alone gets old fast if there is no company to break it up.

Anne Katherine

and on another note: what is with all of these girls younger than me and my age getting married and having babies I'm only 19 I should have at least 3 years before this becomes common!!!!!

random facts(should this be a postly(thats so a word) contribution?)

-I hate wearing shoes

-its going against my nature to have punctuation inside the parentheses

-I hate that word

-I have a habit of forgetting to eat

-I dare you to forget to eat in a house of bossy Turkish women.

- I hate sunglasses

-I don't like to wear make-up or do my hair

-I want a nightgown.

quote(this too?)

"Greek girls do not lose their pants"

I will be waiting

to blog until I am in a better mood. I just sent an e-mail to a friend and all I did was complain, which I feel bad about. I don't want to talk to anyone because all I do is complain but part of the reason is I have no one to talk to. But if I were to blog right now I'd just talk about how much I don't like it here. And thats not fair to Turkey I'm sure they like tourism too.

anne

Impressions

do you ever feel glad when someone random remembers you?

The guy that works the counter at the cafe I like to frequent here totally remembers me. Maybe because I've been three times in two and a half weeks. But I have to have made some impression since after 2 visits when seeing me return he had already pulled out the chocolate cake he knew I would ask for a slice of. He's not cute or anything...its just nice to be memorable.

Have you ever felt like someone is watching you?

Like the Turkish maid making sure you've eaten as much as she feels you should. Probably thinking something along the lines of skinny little b***ch every time you try and eat less than what she feels is acceptable. Which is probably why I attempt to eat when shes not around. Also I generally suspect many people think that about me. I know half of my friends think I don't eat much which may be true...but thats just how I am.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a name that sounds like everything?

Like when people say and slowly(almost everyone does)

like the fact that an is a word in both english and german

that I get called annie anna aanna and several other things

my name is turkish for mom.

seriously...if you're having a conversation and I look at you its most likely not because I'm eavesdropping I just thought I heard my name.

have you ever wondered what someone thinks about you?

everyone does but you probably don't want to know.

random facts

-open doors freak me out

-I don't believe in guilty pleasures

-I'm afraid of steep steps

-I like red roses even if it is cliche (they are cause they are awesome)

-I also love lilacs

-I love to sing really loud

-I freak out if I think people can hear me

-there is beauty in everything

Quick note

only two things I have eaten in turkey that I have thought man I have to have this again(and I've been here two weeks and have had lots of traditional food)

1)that awesome dessert that reminded me of honeycomb awesomeness

2)these spinach triangles...like spinach puffs I thought of kronk from emperor's new grove the entire time I was eating them (I had 5) and it made me happy.

Ok I also had some awesome chocolate cake...but that doesnt count as turkish cause the same cafe exists in germany.

and on a completely random topic--people need to stop taking pictures of me or I need to start looking perfect all the time

ie stop slouching(I really should) and not have weird hair--ever

nanny diary: entry 5(among other things)

I have woefully neglected my families week...which was one from hell I might add

but first a question

do you know whats fun about carrying a crying baby around while you have a migraine(we'll get to that later) and her extremely long nails are scratching you?

nothing--that is until the satisfaction come that she fell asleep a talent only you seem to posses thank you dad for singing to me every night

so last monday my host mom's uncle died

and then we noticed erk's face was swollen and he wouldn't eat

so he went to the doctor

so yeah his kidney's are failing

like getting rid of protein and keeping waste

which causes his body to:swell with waste--yeah ignore how gross this is

so now he's on cortizone

but only 30% are lucky enough to have this work

the rest....other organs fail...have to be on cortizone for like ever

it makes you hungry(therefore fat) and doesn't let you grow.

then mom threw her back out so much that she can't turn over to breast feed in the night

oh did I mention lara wasn't going to sleep until like 3 in the morning

so only erk and I got any sleep

so we had to get a urine sample from lara(HARD) and yeah there was Bactria.

but the good news is that gerd(dad) gets back in 8 days from Uganda.

Erk keeps hitting me--but I talked to didem about it and she said to tell him shed take all his toys if he did it again. also she does believe in disipline just she's read it doesn't work much before the age of three soooo heres hopin for some changes in february.

also when theres mom grandma grandpa and cousins around...the nanny you've had for a week--yeahhhh not exactly the 80th choice right now.

reasons to have a dryer

1.its faster

2.not as much need to iron

3.when your son soils all his underwear and pants it doesn't take so long to get clean ones

4.your clothes are softer

oh so the migraine thing.

soon we will be to the 3 year anniversary of my headache--thinking of throwing a party I mean it's a long time. but my headache at a climax was at about a 6 maybe 6.5...and now it gets to about an 8 to 8.5 and let me tell all you sissies out there--I have a high pain tolerance so my climax is now feel like I may throw up from the pain turn off all the lights and shut up kind of deal--you sissies would die!

now its ten and my bed time....please comment e-mail me Im bored and lonely I don't speak turkish I dont know anyone and dont really have the funds or courage to really go out into the city by myself Im not unhappy cause I know this is where Im supposed to be...but Ill be honest Im not happy I just want to go back to germany yesterday and I have 3 weeks.

anne

Today's lists

SHOPPING

Chocolate

Coke light

notebook

sandwich (why is the cucumber always the "meat")

How to buy a notebook in Turkey

me: English?

salesguy: huaihf

me: How much is this?

salesguy: puts finger up

me:thanks!(after he finds the prince and writes it down for me)

Songs:

it's not just make believe

an honest mistake

don't you forget about me

dance dance

walking on sunshine

single

picture to burn

you belong with me

fearless

hey stephen

a lot of glee songs

Things I should be able to do but can't

20 push-ups (right now I'm at 8)

get my leg past perpendicular to the floor

about twice as many crunches(now at 144)

same with leg whips(now at 16)

should be a lot closer on splits

To Do

work

get chocolate

exercise

write

go for a walk

talk to mom?

be a bum