Nanny diary: entry 6

This is Erk he'll be 3 on the 21st of Feburary

This is laura she was 3 months last week

Ok so Erk totally had a first girlfriend type of moment today, but let me give more background first. So today I was going to go out and have a Sunday type walk but at the time I wanted to go the family was going out as well and Erk asked me to come along. Estatic that the soon to be 3 year old asked me komm mit instead of du darfst nicht(youre not allowed) or geh weg(go away) I said yeah I can come. So I did to a cafe to meet their friends but hey I got cake--always good. But at the cafe there was a little girl maybe half a year younger than Erk and she said hi earlier and then later came back to say hi again. Turns out she was just using him for his wheels (a push bike) and after much convincing from Gerd(the dad) and I he let her play with it. And she did for like 10 minutes it was cute. But then Erk wanted to ride around in the cafe...obviously I couldn't let him and he hit me--but the only time in like the past 3 days. I really think we have progress. His 10 day check up went good his kidneys seem to be working with the medicine but hopefully he can get off of it.

HAPPY GROUNDHOGS DAY..tomorrow the best fake holiday this month!!!

Random Facts:

-I crave things like a pregnant woman today its--chocolate, crappy cereal, s'mores,

-I'm pretty vain

-I like the smell of smoke like camp fires

-room of grandmas + baby=priceless

-never underestimate the good nice weather can do

Quote:(I've decided if you can correctly place the quote you get points...later they'll mean something)

We can be proud. But pride...pride is cold company and thats no gainsaying.

If you don't like whining

. I'm not sure why you come to this blog anyways.

Have you noticed when you don't feel good you don't actually want to do anything that would make you feel better?

Things like exercising talking getting out.

Ok so I didn't know I was going to be in Istanbul for a month until I got to Germany...so lets check I moved to Germany which probably means I want to see things in Germany. Not travel around Istanbul. Its a beautiful city and an interesting mix of east and west, but I have no desire to see Istanbul. I especially have no desire to spend money on seeing things in the city.

I would like to use that money to go see friends go other places in Germany...or western Europe. Not go around a city I don't care about. And generally going out and doing stuff in a place where you know no one and don't even speak the language means spending money and lots of it to do touristy stuff. I don't usually like being touristy.

So if you know me you'll think this isn't true--but if you only know me a little you will be able to see this. I have a pathological need to be extremely polite. Which means if I don't know you there is a large possibility you have no idea what I'm thinking. I'll never be bored, never be hungry, never refuse anything offered to me(unless its something I don't have because of religious reasons) thats the whole reason I couldn't stick with the vegetarian thing--I hate to inconvenience people

Another thing. I don't eat that much. I just don't. I actually worked very hard to shrink the size of my stomach so I wouldn't eat that much. I'm not unhealthy I'm not starving I'm skinny. And thats the way (uh-huh uh-huh) I like it. SO I would appreciate it if you didn't put more food on my plate. If you didn't insist I try some of everything. The reason I didn't take any is because I don't want any. I like being obnoxiously skinny. I like being a size 2. But if you do things like not exercise and eat a lot of chocolate because you're unhappy, its possible you will stop being a size 2.

Being the extremely self-critical person I am it's not something I'm ready to accept. Just like I'll probably never think I'm pretty, and I'll never like to have people just listen to me sing...and I mean really sing. I'm never afraid to be who I am. I don't believe in guilty pleasures because I never want to feel guilty about being myself so I don't hide much, if people like me for who I am at first they will like me for it later. Pretending is too hard. Yeah I may get louder as you get to know me but I'm the same dork you met.

People keep saying I'm really brave going off on my own like this, that I'm taking on adventure. And yeah I'll be honest I am trying to find where I belong where I'll really be happy where I fit in. But mostly I feel like a coward I'm running away and I don't even know what from.

word to the wise:If you run away; think about what you have to leave behind first.

Still glad I came, still know I'm supposed to be here. Too bad I was forced to come to Istanbul if I was here on vacation with a friend I could really like it. The city is fun and I get to walk by the water everyday. but I don't like being alone. Shopping walking thinking alone gets old fast if there is no company to break it up.

Anne Katherine

and on another note: what is with all of these girls younger than me and my age getting married and having babies I'm only 19 I should have at least 3 years before this becomes common!!!!!

random facts(should this be a postly(thats so a word) contribution?)

-I hate wearing shoes

-its going against my nature to have punctuation inside the parentheses

-I hate that word

-I have a habit of forgetting to eat

-I dare you to forget to eat in a house of bossy Turkish women.

- I hate sunglasses

-I don't like to wear make-up or do my hair

-I want a nightgown.

quote(this too?)

"Greek girls do not lose their pants"

I will be waiting

to blog until I am in a better mood. I just sent an e-mail to a friend and all I did was complain, which I feel bad about. I don't want to talk to anyone because all I do is complain but part of the reason is I have no one to talk to. But if I were to blog right now I'd just talk about how much I don't like it here. And thats not fair to Turkey I'm sure they like tourism too.

anne

Impressions

do you ever feel glad when someone random remembers you?

The guy that works the counter at the cafe I like to frequent here totally remembers me. Maybe because I've been three times in two and a half weeks. But I have to have made some impression since after 2 visits when seeing me return he had already pulled out the chocolate cake he knew I would ask for a slice of. He's not cute or anything...its just nice to be memorable.

Have you ever felt like someone is watching you?

Like the Turkish maid making sure you've eaten as much as she feels you should. Probably thinking something along the lines of skinny little b***ch every time you try and eat less than what she feels is acceptable. Which is probably why I attempt to eat when shes not around. Also I generally suspect many people think that about me. I know half of my friends think I don't eat much which may be true...but thats just how I am.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a name that sounds like everything?

Like when people say and slowly(almost everyone does)

like the fact that an is a word in both english and german

that I get called annie anna aanna and several other things

my name is turkish for mom.

seriously...if you're having a conversation and I look at you its most likely not because I'm eavesdropping I just thought I heard my name.

have you ever wondered what someone thinks about you?

everyone does but you probably don't want to know.

random facts

-open doors freak me out

-I don't believe in guilty pleasures

-I'm afraid of steep steps

-I like red roses even if it is cliche (they are cause they are awesome)

-I also love lilacs

-I love to sing really loud

-I freak out if I think people can hear me

-there is beauty in everything

Quick note

only two things I have eaten in turkey that I have thought man I have to have this again(and I've been here two weeks and have had lots of traditional food)

1)that awesome dessert that reminded me of honeycomb awesomeness

2)these spinach triangles...like spinach puffs I thought of kronk from emperor's new grove the entire time I was eating them (I had 5) and it made me happy.

Ok I also had some awesome chocolate cake...but that doesnt count as turkish cause the same cafe exists in germany.

and on a completely random topic--people need to stop taking pictures of me or I need to start looking perfect all the time

ie stop slouching(I really should) and not have weird hair--ever

nanny diary: entry 5(among other things)

I have woefully neglected my families week...which was one from hell I might add

but first a question

do you know whats fun about carrying a crying baby around while you have a migraine(we'll get to that later) and her extremely long nails are scratching you?

nothing--that is until the satisfaction come that she fell asleep a talent only you seem to posses thank you dad for singing to me every night

so last monday my host mom's uncle died

and then we noticed erk's face was swollen and he wouldn't eat

so he went to the doctor

so yeah his kidney's are failing

like getting rid of protein and keeping waste

which causes his body to:swell with waste--yeah ignore how gross this is

so now he's on cortizone

but only 30% are lucky enough to have this work

the rest....other organs fail...have to be on cortizone for like ever

it makes you hungry(therefore fat) and doesn't let you grow.

then mom threw her back out so much that she can't turn over to breast feed in the night

oh did I mention lara wasn't going to sleep until like 3 in the morning

so only erk and I got any sleep

so we had to get a urine sample from lara(HARD) and yeah there was Bactria.

but the good news is that gerd(dad) gets back in 8 days from Uganda.

Erk keeps hitting me--but I talked to didem about it and she said to tell him shed take all his toys if he did it again. also she does believe in disipline just she's read it doesn't work much before the age of three soooo heres hopin for some changes in february.

also when theres mom grandma grandpa and cousins around...the nanny you've had for a week--yeahhhh not exactly the 80th choice right now.

reasons to have a dryer

1.its faster

2.not as much need to iron

3.when your son soils all his underwear and pants it doesn't take so long to get clean ones

4.your clothes are softer

oh so the migraine thing.

soon we will be to the 3 year anniversary of my headache--thinking of throwing a party I mean it's a long time. but my headache at a climax was at about a 6 maybe 6.5...and now it gets to about an 8 to 8.5 and let me tell all you sissies out there--I have a high pain tolerance so my climax is now feel like I may throw up from the pain turn off all the lights and shut up kind of deal--you sissies would die!

now its ten and my bed time....please comment e-mail me Im bored and lonely I don't speak turkish I dont know anyone and dont really have the funds or courage to really go out into the city by myself Im not unhappy cause I know this is where Im supposed to be...but Ill be honest Im not happy I just want to go back to germany yesterday and I have 3 weeks.

anne

Today's lists

SHOPPING

Chocolate

Coke light

notebook

sandwich (why is the cucumber always the "meat")

How to buy a notebook in Turkey

me: English?

salesguy: huaihf

me: How much is this?

salesguy: puts finger up

me:thanks!(after he finds the prince and writes it down for me)

Songs:

it's not just make believe

an honest mistake

don't you forget about me

dance dance

walking on sunshine

single

picture to burn

you belong with me

fearless

hey stephen

a lot of glee songs

Things I should be able to do but can't

20 push-ups (right now I'm at 8)

get my leg past perpendicular to the floor

about twice as many crunches(now at 144)

same with leg whips(now at 16)

should be a lot closer on splits

To Do

work

get chocolate

exercise

write

go for a walk

talk to mom?

be a bum

the worst meal ever

And the sad part is that it probably tasted pretty good...but I couldn't tell

So you've all had fish before right? Have you ever had the whole fish?

Head attached....eyes looking up at you

skin still on

tail still on

bones all still there

I took 3 (they were really small) to be polite and seriously their white eyes glaring at me and the fact that I could not get all the bones out made me feel sick to my stomach.

and after I ate enough of them to make it look like I ate them the maid shoveled three more onto my plate despite my gesture of oh goodness no! I could also not keep the look of I'm gonna be sick off my face. And then once I picked at those three she put another two on!!! Seriously she is like the bossiest maid ever she makes me eat tons of food! and I can't be like oh no I'm full cause she only speaks Turkish. Maids should not be so bossy--but I guess I'm just the help too.

Ok so earlier that day I had an awesome meal. We went to this really old restaurant that is famous for their meatballs and had them obviously. They were all beef but I was ok. I also tried this Turkish drink thats yogurt and water....I was glad I got a soda. And for desert we had this awesome thing...no idea what it was made out of like...corn meal or something and it was sweet but not sugary it had a lot of honey in it I think. But it was awesome! Ive been craving sweet things lately. I need to go get some chocolate...mmmmm

later-Annie

(its funny people will tell me they like my blog but no one ever comments lol. And Beth I hadn't noticed that my English is getting weird but thats understandable it always happens whenever I speak German too long I start using their grammar more.)

Istanbul with my personal turkish tour guide

You would love her...seriously she's awesome and because she insisted on taking pictures of me at all the historical places she was kind enough to escort me to--you all have pictures of me in front of stuff in istanbul. These photos will accompany this blog--and not be on facebook hopefully this way less people will see them.

sidenote--shouldn't my computer recognize facebook is a word and stop trying to get me to correct it?

Ok so here it goes today I went with my host mom's cousin to the European side of the city in order to get in some site seeing and in the process learn a little more about the history of Istanbul and Turks. I'll admit it was pretty cool seeing everything and comparing it in my head to more western culture of a similar era--yes I am a dork. I have more pictures of the insides of these places but mostly the coolest places i.e. inside the masque and treasury I was not allowed to take pictures.

Here I am outside the door of the old castle I actually went here last... and by this time it was raining pretty well--note the hood. This building was cool a lot of jewels. rubies. emeralds. diamonds. gold. silver. some of it had to do with ceremonial stuff like thrones or writing boxes. Others with prophets holding the mantel an arm or something and other it was just like straight up precious stone like wabam diamond--it was HUGE. There was also a giant bed in this place you could fit like 15 people in it comfortably. It also had a really cool library. Id read there.

This is me in front of the museum I forget the name that says its a translation but is still totally Turkish so I can't say it anyways. This was built in the time of Constantine originally but then burnt down and this one was built in less than six years--note thats AMAZING--it was the largest basilica for over a thousand years and now is like in the top 5. It was originally a basilica and then was turned into a masque after the romans were over thrown and then the guy that started the Turkish empire made it into a museum and according to my guide its best that way. Inside it looks a lot like a church but with more tile the roof is mostly yellow like stucco. this is also where some weird guy came up to me--avert eyes keep moving. Its also really confusing inside so we went around it like 4 times the same with the one above...also exits from the upper gallery should not be by the entrance and the entrance to it by the exit its just not nice.

Both of these are me in front of the blue masque (note the absence of umbrella//hood=not raining so much) Its called that because of all the blue tiles inside. Inside it was mostly just carpeted and we had to take off our shoes...but we didn't cover our heads I felt slightly scandalous until I saw a couple of old Asian ladies had also ignored the workers yelling at them to get a head scarf.

oh this is the courtyard of the blue masque

This was the first place we went it supplied water to the place that is now the museum and yeah there was water..it kept dripping down and hitting my head! But it was cool and mysterious and had two statues that looked like Medusa...probably because they are supposed to be this was probably my favourite just cause it was fun to look at!

up next worst meal ever--but its 22 my bed time--yeah I know lame.

later! Annie

Americans shake hands

Here they do the whole double kiss thing I'm not even so set on hugs...

Yesterday I began exercising again. Which is really good for me and something I've been saying I'll do since I started college and stopped dance. What finally made me start? Something that this typically not shallow low maintenance gal is rather ashamed to admit. I felt I would soon become fat....which I'm finding is really not acceptable to me. Not even fat just not ridiculously skinny. so apparently I'm rather shallow about certain parts of my appearance. lame.

I'm starting to feel about Turkish what I feel about Spanish. And little old Turkish women what I feel about little old Asian women.

I would kill for some coco puffs or maybe my fake count chocula :] had chocolate cake the other day--let me just say I like chocolate:)

I'll never be able to capture the beauty of a city by the sea at night...and nothing else can quite take my breath away in the same way.

you&me

love song

your song

so close and yet so far

the way you look tonight

kiss the girl

kiss a girl

Today's Playlist

Gracie-Ben Folds

1,2,3,4-Plain white T's

The Luckiest-Ben Folds

I gotta feelin-black eyed peas

kiss a girl-keith urban

irish drinking song

here in your arms-hellogoodbye

walking on sunshine

walking on broken glass-Annie Lennox

once upon a dream-emily osment

grace kelly-MIKA

you and me--lifehouse

music I just listen to because it makes me want to sing//dance

teeny bopper music-yeah I mean it

Jazz

country

musical music

add some take some...smile dance sing

also I feel really cool whenever I see my friends feeds and it says turkey or germany has arrived on their blog

Finally my life is exciting

ok sooooo 1 toddler + 1 baby +3 adults=12 suitcases and 7 carry ons!!!!(note I had one SMALL suitcase and a carry-on) and european cars=not that big!

After a morning of clingy Erk (to mom not me duh) and finishing packing we got to the airport and got checked in with minimal problems and also onto the plane.

Only problem on the plane...erk didn't want to stay in his seat and I had to drag him back like four times...ugh.

Oh note to people with small braty children that don't like to listen and have learned that if they scream they will get their way...DO NOT suggest that they put their bag on the carousel and let it go around and then get it because they will follow it until the carousel stops and then drag it. All the while pushing their nanny away and trying to climb on the carousel. yeah don't do that.

ok so we finally got out of the airport! and then tried to cram everything in a not that big van. Well it did all get in...I was holding like 3 bags the front seat was full and a suitcase and a stroller were cramed in front of me..it was a bit cramped.

Ok so we got here to the house and unloaded everything and I had to kiss everyone on the cheek I still smell like didem's dad's aftershave. But her family is really nice and all really welcoming and my room is smaller here but I have a door...more privacy and harder for erk to just come in. Now Im all unpacked and just chilling had some mineral water..still think its gross but I think I can get used to it but didem's dad loved that I drink coke light :) also grandparents will make my job easier--they will want to do most of my job like play with the kids but Ill find out tomorrow what Im doing for the next month for work.

Oh and since I don't have my visa yet techniquly I'm just a guest and not allowed to work lol if you don't tell I won't.

Ok so side story--I went shopping and yes it was fun but I also got something that was 3 sizes to big--I won't tell you what size cause I dont want to talk about how tiny I am. I thought I could pull it off though...got home realized I looked like I used to be much larger and couldn't afford new clothes and said Id take it back the next day. The next day I didn't feel like going the ten minutes to konigstrasse so I was like I'll keep it and find someway to make it work. But finally I got up and begrudgingly went. I think my internet temporarily had problems so I was like whatever I'll go. Now this jacket had been on sale for half price and not until I was almost home did I notice they refunded me the full price! so good thing I went back :)

--till later

Annie

nanny diary: entry 4

ok so today erk decided he was a cat "ate" his toy mouse and killed off several other stuffed animals for which we made graves. We then transported the graves in a wheel barrel to the other room where it was discovered they were all alive so we had to have a party.

side note:so far I've been "dead" twice the second time I was eaten by a lion aka erk

aren't kids great?

Nanny Diary: entry 3(kids and digs)

Ok so I figured you might care to see...well hear....read what life is like for me here. Ok so I have decided to begin with my room Since there are a lot of windows and my room is really half a room with a cabinet and...drapes separating me from erk. So all the drapes look really cool and are brown giving the room an interesting look. At one end I have a large schrank with a large mirror on the outside of one door and the inside of another. The apartment is large and has no hallways which is typical of european apartments

SO my family has 2 kids I speak German with the parents but english with their nearly 3 year old son--did I mention this is the third language he's learning? his name is Erk and he's pretty nice but also stuborn Im hoping this will get easier as he gets to know me better. Lara is cute and also only a few months old so shes kind of like a slug albeit a cute and loud one

Nanny Diary:entry 2

SO I got to Stuttgart today--after a long day of annoying prissy girls funny British idiots waiting forever to get on the freaking plane being freaked out by people driving on the wrong side of the road. Ok so my shedule will generally look like this probably get up at like 6:30 to maybe exercise a little shower and be ready bu 7:30 when I start work until 8:30 I help erk get ready and then take him to kindergarten I come home help clean or watch the baby till ten then do whatever I please until 4 when I go get erk and play with him till 8 when he goes to bed...then I have the evening to..oh yeah sleep!!!! but from jan 10 to feb 10 Ill be in Istanbul Turkey!!! seriously my first month in Germany...I won't be here. So I'll probably get a phone and stuff like that when I get back...or maybe this week we'll see how it goes. so if I'm not around don't freak out thats just cause I'm off being awesome. Ok have to go first early morning tomorrow while I try and skip jet lag.

Anne

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Ok so tomorrows the day--the day I will get on a plane and leave to begin this new decade in a new country because thats just how I am.

So if you decide to up and leave the country -- people will want to say goodbye yeah even those people you were pretty sure didn't like you or possibly forgot who you are. And if you have a wide selection of friends...or acquaintances....that possibly don't know each other at all and have a limited amount of time this may result in a large gathering...focused on you...where you are supposed to talk to everyone. Yeah not awesome. Also old friends that may now hate each other but all still like you cause living on the other side of the country makes you able to abstain from picking sides--and then shoving them all in the same room--also not fun.

what is fun--moving to Germany. Seriously just 2 more days and I'll be there!! I'm also not sure of my internet situation...so if you don't hear from me for a few weeks don't freak out I'm just getting settled Ok I have to go get ready for the lovely gathering. But seriously I love my friends I just hate being the total center of attention. Hope your new year has been bright.

Resolutions?

--exercise more

--remember to eat regularly

--be better :)